Big-government "Conservatives"

I am always amazed by the portion of self-described small-government Conservatives who think only government is capable of providing

after-school programs
ambulance services,
bookmobiles,
convention centers,
dog parks,
education,
fitness centers,
golf courses,
guaranteed income for businesses,
guaranteed income for families,
guaranteed income for farmers,
guaranteed income for individuals,
health care,
health insurance,
hotels,
Internet service,
libraries,
mass transit,
museums,
parks,
recreation centers,
safety of goods and services,
stadiums,
summer activities for school children,
swimming pools,
theaters,
tourism,
trash collection,
utilities, and
welfare

and that only government employees are competent to staff them. I expect that kind of lunacy from Leftists and Statists. But Conservatives too?

We need smarter voters.