I'm often asked for advice about what to look for when buying a self-defense handgun. I'll share a few of my thoughts here.
Before you make the investment in a gun, it's wise to shoot that model if you can (or something similar). Some commercial ranges have several guns you can rent. I did this once before buying a particular gun. I suggest you take a pistol or personal protection course from an NRA-certified firearms instructor. When sifting through the available courses and instructors, ask each instructor whether he has several handguns you can try. Many NRA instructors do and will let you shoot several different guns so you can find one you like. I'm so concerned about people buying guns that aren't suited for them, that my business card says I'll take first-time gun buyers to the range for free so they can shoot my guns before buying.
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Many people seem to think one needs a small gun for concealment. But, you really don't need a small gun. Sure, an LCP or a Keltec is easier to conceal, but even a big gun like a 1911, a standard-size Glock, or Ruger GP-100 are easy to hide with careful wardrobe selection and a good holster. It can be done without gimmicks such as fanny packs (Who wears a fanny pack? Only people with guns and Japanese tourists.) and vests (Who wears a vest in August in Phoenix? Only people with guns.). I carry a standard-size Springfield XD in .40 caliber year 'round and have no problem with concealment. A couple of my friends make a game of looking for my gun when they see me in public. An experienced eye might pick it out, but the general public will never know. (You'll never hide a monster like a S&W 500.)
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If you're worried about recoil in a small gun, you might consider an all-steel gun such as a Walther PPK or a S&W J-Frame all-steel revolver or a Ruger SP-101. My wife used to carry an "airweight" S&W J-Frame, but switched to a S&W Model 60 (pictured above, also a J-Frame) because it is all steel, has better sights, and a better grip. That switch to a heavier gun, even though is is the same frame size (slightly longer barrel), gave her something that is fun to shoot -- not punishing.
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You need to consider ammo availability (you don't want a gun that shoots exotic, hard-find ammo such as the 9mm Largo), the availability of accessories such as holsters and spare magazines, and the availability of service and parts.
As for caliber selection, you should carry the most powerful cartridge you can comfortably and accurately shoot. Most experts recommend a minimum of the 9mm Parbellum (Luger) or the .38 Special (although some of the .380 Auto ammo is getting pretty good for self defense).
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One nationally-known firearms trainer, Rob Pincus -- whose opinion I regard highly, is switching from the .40 S&W cartridge to 9mm Parabellum. He correctly argues that no self-defense handgun cartridge can be considered a one-shot stopper. In fact, wound characteristics are very similar among all of them. Therefore, he now prefers the more controllable 9mm. It enables one to carry more ammo and the lighter recoil enables faster follow-up shots. And, 9mm is usually the cheapest center-fire ammo you'll find for practice.
Some jurisdictions, such as California, limit the available firearm choices -- even the color of the gun seems to frighten some of the State's bureaucrats! So, make sure the gun you buy is legal where you live and where you will use the gun.
The most important thing about a self-defense gun is training. Get some training from a good NRA instructor and/or from one of the shooting academys such as FrontSight, GunSite, and Thunder Ranch.
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